Asking for a Friend [BONUS]

How do you handle disappointment with God? A recap of a top series from the past year along with bonus material not included in that series.

This month, I had the privilege of preaching at Cross Points Church for the last two Sundays. The mini-series was an expanded version of a sermon I preached in February at the annual SYNC conference and the series of posts I made in March.

Some of you started receiving this email as a response to one of these sermons, so this short post will give you many of the resources I used for the original sermon, the follow-up series of posts, and the sermons I preached this month.

In these sermons and posts, I address what we might only be willing to couch in terms of “Asking for a friend…”. What do you do with your disappointment with God?

God, why…?

Over twenty years ago, my daughters were involved in a horrible car accident. In short, they should have died. It was the car seats properly buckled and the grace of God that saved them

My daughters and I not long after their accident.

Because of the car seats, the local news ran stories about them the next day. The stations came and interviewed us, filmed my older daughter dancing, and heard the story from the babysitter driving the car and from my wife (while I sat next to Kia looking like a mute).

The evening of the stories aired on one of the stations, I remember another story right after ours. It was about a 3-year-old boy who had drowned in a bathtub earlier that week. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why did my girls live, and that boy die? Why were Kia and I rejoicing in the salvation of our daughters, but his parents were at home grieving?”

It is appropriate to wrestle with the question, but I’ve concluded that no answer will satisfy me. So, I must move on to the how and what questions. How will God use this? What do I do as I struggle with pain and heartache?

This series aims to address this. I encourage you to take some time over the next few weeks to read, watch, and wrestle with this on your own.

Asking for a Friend Newsletter Series:

Asking for a Friend Sermon Series:

Origin Stories (7/14/24)

Through all his trials, Joseph learned to trust: not that God would prevent hardship, but that he would redeem even the hardship.
-Phillip Yancey

While this is very similar to the original post from above, I was able to go deeper into the hope you can hold onto in your pain. Specifically, you can hold onto these three things:

1. Redemption

2. Purpose

3. A Suffering God

He is in you, the one hurting, not in it, the thing that hurts.
-Dr. Paul Brand

Only the suffering God can help.
-Deitrich Bonhoeffer

Let’s Be Real (7/21/24)

Is it possible what you view as God’s inactivity is a purpose you can’t see?

Over ten years ago, a good friend passed away from a horrible car accident. At her Catholic funeral, I began to process the text the Priest used to eulogize my friend. In John 11, we see two sisters deal with the grief of losing their brother, compounded by the fact that Jesus stayed away after their call.

In their grief, Mary and Martha do two vital things as they struggle through their pain:

1. Feel the feelings.

2. Tell God.

Jesus, where were you?
-Mary + Martha (and everyone who has every experienced pain)

It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
-Miracle Max (Princess Bride)

Source Material:

For this sermon series, I pulled from a wide variety of sources. Some of these sources I quoted directly, and others I used as tools to think about the subject in general. I recommend each of these books for different reasons (Disclaimer: all of these links are back to Amazon affiliate links).

• Disappointment with God by Phillip Yancey
  I first read this book in college and re-read it as I was working on this sermon and newsletter series. I have pages of notes from Yancey’s work. If you are struggling with pain and disappointment, this is where I would suggest turning to first.

• The Exvangelicals by Sarah McCammon
  I mentioned this book at the beginning of the first sermon above. It was written by a former member of my church (she was a child or teen in the 1980s and 1990s). It is a memoir and study of the exodus of so many young adults exiting the American Evangelical church. She cites many reasons for their leaving, but ultimately, I would register these as disappointment with God.

• A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
  This is a journal of Lewis as he dealt with the death of his wife. It’s a very honest and raw look at his emotions and how he sees God through this process. As I read and learn more about Lewis, I have come to appreciate his view as being much different than the current American Evangelical perspective.

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
  I read this book several years ago, and it has helped me immensely as I eulogize men and women…sometimes in the worst circumstances. Frankl dove deep into the ability to find purpose in pain because he walked it intimately as a German concentration camp survivor.

• Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
  This was the least used resource, but it informs a view of God we often forget. Lewis writes from the perspective of the world at war and a nation on the brink of extinction. From this place, he shares how he has faith in God and believes in Jesus.

• Resilient by John Eldredge
  If I had several more weeks, I would have turned to the material in this book. Eldredge writes about how followers of Jesus remain committed to our faith amid hard and difficult times. This book shares why you are experiencing pain and how to walk through it.

…finally…

As I send this bonus newsletter to you, I am seven people short of 700 subscribers. My goal is to grow to 1000 subscribers in 2024. Would you consider sharing this post or the newsletter in general with a friend, a group of friends, or even via your favorite social media channel?

A big thanks for your support!