The Depth of Scripture: Men vs Women

God designed the relationship between men and women to operate in a way we've never actually seen. From the beginning there has been a struggle for power, but what did God envision?

Every summer, our family goes to the Branson, Missouri, area for a reunion with Kia’s family. Along with the usual shenanigans with brothers, sisters, and cousins, there is a fair amount of boating on Table Rock Lake. As the children age, this includes a stop at one of the various cliff-jumping locations. These jumps never seem like much from the lake, but once standing on top of the cliff, the jump takes on a whole new perspective.

Photo by Inês Santos on Unsplash

Standing and waiting to jump is the worst part of the experience, but the plunge into the water is a close second.

Depending on the distance jumped from and the quality of entrance into the water determines how deep into the water you travel. Once you’ve gone under, the hope is for a quick return to the top. At this moment, you realize how deep the water really is. The lake seems to keep going deeper and deeper and deeper.

The Depth of Scripture

As you dive into Scripture, you will find the same thing. What you once understood to have value and meaning continues to go deeper and deeper the more you read and study. Paul exclaims, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!”¹ This is a great description of what we find in the Bible. Often, we hear the stories and memorize the details of the Bible but miss the deeper meanings. Today, as you read the Bible, whether you realize it or not, its stories have a deeper value and meaning. 

This month, I am sharing with you a few symbols and recurring themes found in the book of Genesis and throughout the Bible. In fact, the five symbols I’ll write about this month can all be found in just one chapter—Genesis 12. In the 20 verses and two simple stories, I identified five themes found throughout the Bible: Covenant | Faith | Promises, Egypt, Men + Women, See + Take, and Trees. 

Today, we focus on the struggle between men and women. Let’s look at how this plays out in Genesis 12.

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Abraham + Sarah

As a brief review, the chapter begins with God choosing Abraham for his redemption plan for humanity. God calls Abraham to an unknown land and promises him blessings to bless others. Almost immediately, God allows famine to hit the land Abraham settles in, so Abraham heads south to Egypt rather than trusting in God’s provision. This is what happens as Abraham enters Egypt:

“As he was approaching the border of Egypt, Abram said to his wife, Sarai, “Look, you are a very beautiful woman. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife. Let’s kill him; then we can have her!’ So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.”

And sure enough, when Abram arrived in Egypt, everyone noticed Sarai’s beauty. When the palace officials saw her, they sang her praises to Pharaoh, their king, and Sarai was taken into his palace. Then Pharaoh gave Abram many gifts because of her—sheep, goats, cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.”  -Genesis 12:11-16

Was this just a sick joke Abraham played on his wife, Sarah?² Was Abraham just that weak, or is there some other evil intent at work? The answer is yes. Abraham was weak, but a deeper evil also happens in this passage. To see it more clearly, we must go back to the beginning.

God’s Intent

So much of what we know about our world is not how God intended things. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians, we see life “as in a mirror dimly.”³ What God intended at creation has been put into the spin cycle of sin. God’s original plan for how he designed men and women to operate is found in Genesis 1:

God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
   reflecting our nature
So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
    the birds in the air, the cattle,
And, yes, Earth itself,
    and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”
God created human beings;
    he created them godlike,
Reflecting God’s nature.
   He created them male and female.
God blessed them:
   “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
    for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”  -Genesis 1:26-28 MSG

What is God’s intent?

God created man and woman to rule together. Notice the phases (which I emphasized above): " They can be responsible” and “God blessed them” to prosper, reproduce, fill, and take charge. God designed men and women to co-rule over the earth and everything in it. There was no hierarchy, patriarchy, or matriarchy. Men and women were to walk hand-in-hand and shoulder-to-shoulder together, overseeing God’s creation. This vision lasted less than a generation, and we see it crumble in the Fall. 

When Adam and Eve (together) eat the tree's fruit, they are cursed. God directs a curse at Eve and then one at Adam, but these individual curses are felt collectively. What hurts Eve hurts Adam. This is the curse God speaks to Eve:

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
    and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
    but he will rule over you.”  -Genesis 3:16 NLT

What God created to be side-by-side and together, sin breaks apart. Men and women both desire to control one another and seize power from the other. This attitude has been baked into our cultural systems and structures, but it was never God’s intent. 

This brings us back to Abraham in Egypt. As they enter Egypt, we see a picture of how they will operate throughout their story throughout Genesis. They are journeying through life together but constantly at an imbalance and even antagonistic. In this case, we don’t see Abraham respecting, honoring, or loving Sarah but seeking to rule over her. He doesn’t trust her or her voice. While it’s passive, Abraham ruled over Sarah to her detriment.

As you read this bit of the narrative, it appears it all works out okay for Abraham. He receives a boatload of gifts from Pharaoh, and even later in the chapter, God spares Abraham from Pharaoh’s wrath.  However, as you continue to read Abraham’s story, this deception of Abraham disregarding Sarah’s place as a co-ruler in his household, we see disastrous results. In Genesis 15, Sarah attempts to regain control over their family by having her slave, Hagar, sleep with Abraham to provide a son.

Where is Hagar from? Egypt.

Abraham’s attempt to rule over Sarah likely led to the gift of Hagar, who gave Abraham his son Ishmael, who himself led to further conflict between Sarah and Abraham. 

So, what does this mean for us today as followers of Jesus?

Is it time to re-examine your perspective?

There is fancy, theological terminology that defines the role of women in the family and society — complementarian and egalitarian. What I’ve been describing is the egalitarian view. That is, God is calling men and women to walk together as co-rulers over the spaces he’s given us authority over—your home, your church, your business.

This is natural and normal for some of us, but it will be a shock for others. This isn’t how many of us were raised to think. We were taught men were to lead their families and women were to serve their husbands (and this is also how God designed the church). 

This isn’t how I was taught as a young man, but I’ve seen this topic in a new light over the last decade.⁴ However, as I studied and thought about this matter, it is the natural way I operate in my life. Kia and I lead together. She steps to the front in some ways and places, but I step forward in other ways and places. This is the honor and respect Paul writes about to the early church.⁵

God calls us to co-rule together. He wants families led by husband and wife. He wants churches (and businesses, cities, states, and countries) overseen by men and women. We are better when we listen and see one another.

Again, this may be natural for you, so it’s a matter of doing life as you have. But for others, it may mean searching for what you believe (see the footnotes for a few voices to learn more). Re-examining how you live. I invite you in to do that work. No matter where you land, you’ll be better for it.

1. Romans 11:33a

2. Abraham’s original name was Abram and Sarah was Sarai. God changes their names in Genesis 17 at the time of the final renewal of the covenant between God and Abraham. For clarity’s sake, I will refer to them by their final names, Abraham and Sarah

3. 1 Corinthians 13:12

4. Here are a few voices that have helped me learn more and grow in this area: Beth Allison Bar, Kristin DuMez, and Nijay Gupta.

5. Ephesians 5