How to be the Daring Hero in an Epic Life
You are the hero of your story. However, there is always the potential to slip into the role of victim. How do you know which role you are playing, and how do you ensure you remain the hero?
Welcome to October and a new series of posts: “Heroes, Guides, and Guards.”
Almost two decades ago, author Jon Eldredge introduced me to the concept of viewing life through the lens of story. A different writer, Donald Miller, took this idea to another level, and now I have difficulty seeing life from any other perspective.1
Here is the basic premise: YOU are a hero living out your own (epic) story. As with any story, different characters are integral to telling this story, and the main characters all have a particular archetype: hero, victim, villain, or guide. In your story, you play either the hero or the victim. You may play the guide, villain, or victim in the stories of others you are close to. When we are healthy, we live as the heroes in our own stories and the guides in the stories of others.
Hero or Victim: What Role Are You Playing in Your Story?
I will use the Old Testament story of Saul and David to illustrate this concept.2 This epic tale is an excellent visualization of how this plays out in individual lives. In that narrative, David becomes the hero after Saul begins as the hero, only to shift to the victim and ultimately become the villain. However, we can’t forget a vital third character, Samuel, who plays the guide for both Saul and David.
Today’s question: Are you playing the hero or the victim in your story?
Flaws. Everyone’s got ‘em.
Saul left home one day as nobody in a nobody family in the smallest tribe of Israel to search for some wayward donkeys. He returned home as the first anointed king of Israel. But when it came time to announce the choice to the entire nation, Saul hid among all the luggage.3 Saul was a reluctant hero, which is an excellent lesson for you and me: the best heroes are flawed.
The key is to keep your flaws from turning you into a victim.
Saul’s main flaw was fear. Saul was afraid of everything. He was scared of being named king. He feared facing the Philistine giant, Goliath. Saul worried his army would desert him.4 Ultimately, Saul was afraid his power would be usurped.
We’ll explore this more in the coming weeks, but Samuel, the guide, was able to help Saul manage this fear early on. The role of the guide is…well, to guide the hero through their flaws. Think of Obi-Wan Kenobe and Luke Skywalker or Gandalf and Frodo. Those heroes had flaws (lack of skill, physical weakness, doubt), but the guide helped them process and overcome their flaws.
Hero to Victim to Villain: Don’t let your flaws transform into sin!
The hero will become the victim without a guide or without listening to their guide. Saul’s fear transformed from a flaw into a sin, and God can’t overlook constant, unrepentant sin. Through Samuel, God declares the kingdom will be ripped away from Saul because, in fear, he allowed his army to keep some of the sacred plunder from being destroyed.5 Saul’s sin forces Samuel from the role of guide in Saul’s life, and Saul turns from hero to victim.
Saul felt hard done by Samuel, David, and God. He believed everyone was out to get him, and they had turned their allegiance to David. Saul never takes accountability for his mistakes and failures. He leans so heavily into this victim energy that it leads him to become the villain in the story.
Again, think of how Anakin Skywalker transforms into Darth Vader. Before Anakin turns from hero to villain, he plays the victim. He accuses Obi-Wan of being against him. He feels the Jedi counsel has unfairly overlooked him because they don’t like him. Everything wrong in his life is someone else’s fault.
So, how do you know you are playing the victim or the hero in your story?
The answer is pretty simple. Just answer this question: Who do you blame for the hardships in your life? A hero takes responsibility for negative and challenging things in life. The victim always finds someone or something else to blame for the difficult things they face.
Saul always found someone to blame for the challenges in his life. When he was instructed to wait for Samuel to make a pre-battle sacrifice but did it himself, he blamed his army.6 When he felt the stress of leading a nation, Saul blamed David for creating division.
I’ve shared before how we are a soccer family. I’ve seen hundreds of youth and high school soccer games over the past 20 years. Here’s a general rule of thumb: Losers blame referees. It’s never easy to referee a game at almost any level, and the higher you go, the more difficult it becomes. Refs can change a game, but very few times, a team loses because of a referee. You are playing the victim if you blame a referee for a loss.7
By contrast, a hero takes responsibility for their shortcomings. A good team that loses will recognize the shots they took but missed and where they didn’t defend as they should have. They will admit to areas where they could have been better instead of finding an outside source to blame. You are playing the hero if you take responsibility for your shortcomings despite the mistakes of the referee.
The Real Problem with Playing the Victim.
As you study scripture, you’ll see heroes turn into victims because of disobedience. Adam, Abraham, Saul, and Jonah are just a few examples. When a hero turns into a victim, something fundamental occurs in their lives — they lose their authority.
Through Jesus, you have been given a call or purpose. God's call on our lives (either in the short or long term) carries with it authority. This is that strong sense of purpose you feel with a call. Disobedience strips purpose from your life, which also erodes your authority.
This is precisely what happened to Saul. His disobedience to God, which led him to become a victim, also stripped him of his authority.
When you play the victim in your story, you lose the authority the hero naturally carries. So, if you feel powerless in your life, you may ask yourself if you are playing the victim role. If you want to move back from victim to hero, listening to the right voice is the key. The victim listens to the villain, but the hero follows a guide.
This is what we will explore next week: Every hero has a guide.
Let me close by thanking a handful of new newsletter subscribers (Rick, Marvin, and Charlyn, among others) and new supporters (thank you, Kevin and Roland!). If you cannot support this newsletter financially, the next best thing is sharing it with your friends.
I appreciate everyone who shared last week’s post; I am grateful for your generosity. -Andy
Eldredge writes his book, Epic, from a purely spiritual perspective, and Miller writes A Million Miles in a Thousand Years from a broader context (though still from a Christian worldview). In fact, Donald Miller has turned this idea of a story built within all of us into a business. He teaches businesses how to use hero and guide language in their marketing and branding.
This entire narrative is found in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel (mainly chapters 9-31). I’ll try to reference the exact chapters and verses in this footnote section.
I write this in a moment of clarity, but I have often played the victim regarding referees over the years.